German encounters with weirdness
by quietlyfangirlinginthecorner
Summary: long story short, Germany found out the hard way that there were parallel universes. Both Germanys. contains Nyotalia and Hetalia... and massive hairy spiders. (may or may not contain GerIta, I have yet to decide)
1. Chapter 1

**This chapter was originally going to be called "It's all fun and games until an Italian drops a spider on your face" but I ran out of space. Thanks for reading and I don't own Hetalia.**

**This chapter is loads shorter than they will usually be, it's just an introduction.**

Germany

Sometimes Germany wondered what on earth went on in Italy's head. Usually he just came to the conclusion that this was just Italy being Italy and that there was probably nothing unusual about it in Italy itself. Now was not one of those times. He was tidying Italy's room, he stayed over so often that it only made sense that he had his own room. Italy had gone to visit his brother, and that left Germany to do some much needed cleaning. Things had been going well, everything was now perfectly tidy and in their own places, the bed was changed and the dirty clothes had been put in the washing machine. All that was left to do was clean under Italy's bed. And that was where Germany encountered the problem. An eight legged problem. An eight legged _hairy _problem. An eight legged hairy problem called 'Caramia' if the label on it's case was anything to go by.

Yes, Germany had just found what appeared to be Italy's pet spider. He'd always thought he was a cat person. What the hell was this thing doing here. He tried to ignore the creature and tidy the underside of Italy's bed not occupied by 'Caramia' And then, don't ask how it happened but that _monster _got out from it's case. It crawled onto Germany's hand (pretty stealthily as Germany hadn't felt her there) and made it's way to his face. It was only when his vision was obscured by a black hairy body that the nation actually noticed that the spider had escaped. He let out the most unmanly scream known to humanity, banged his head on Italy's bed in his haste to get out from under the bed and the spider off of his face, and succeeded in knocking himself out.

Nyo Germany

It had started as a joke. Germany had told Italy to get that spider out of her face, and Italy had protested that her beloved pet spider, Benno was the cutest thing in the universe. Germany had told her otherwise. And now Germany was running through her house, laughing breathlessly. Many nations liked to think that she was incapable of fun. But she just found it difficult under most circumstances. But with her petite friend following through her house and insisting that should she hold the spider she would instantly love him, she found it hard not to at least giggle.

"Get him out of my face, Italy!" She exclaimed, ducking into her study to avoid her boisterous friend.

"Not until you admit he's cute. Just look at his little face!" Italy cried, also laughing loudly to the point of hoarseness.

"Well maybe next time Japan's here you can ask _her_," Germany chuckled "She's the word authority on all things cute"

She was stood behind her desk as her best friend stood the other side with her spider on her hand. Germany made a move to the left, Italy followed, Germany moved to the left and Italy followed. Germany vaulted the desk and Italy squealed and thrust the spider at the tall blonde girl. But Germany was already sprinting down the hall way, her boots thudding on the wood.

"Come on Germany, you know you love him!" Italy called, following her down the corridor. Germany turned to speak back to her, just as Italy tripped on the stair and sent the spider flying, it slapped into her face, swore loudly in suprise as the hairy body made contact with her face. Her vision went black.


	2. Chapter 2 Italy

**I still don't own Hetalia, and thanks for reading ^_^**

Nyo Germany

yuck, yuckyuckyuckyuckyuck. She peeled the spider off of her face and caught sight of a pair of concerned amber-brown eyes. She recognized those were the eyes of her best friend. The rest of the face she didn't recognize. Whoever he was he looked dazed, but not dazed enough not to catch the spider when it slipped from her hands. The hair was the same as Italy's too, with the Vargas curl shared by Italy and her two sisters, was he a new nation? No, Sealand wasn't here.

She was just about to ask who this person was when the man abruptly cried "Ve, Germany, is that you?"

Germany frowned and tried to remember if she'd ever read about this in a manual. The protocol for humans at the moment was to refer to themselves by their 'human names' but what if this was a nation? What if he wasn't? But he knew she was Germany.

"Italy? Is that you?" she asked, she really wanted there to be a different explanation, but right now this was all she had.

"Yes, but are you Germany!" The young man exclaimed.

"Of course I'm Germany, you _know _I'm Germany andhowthehelldidwegettomyhouse?" she suddenly noticed her surroundings were not that of the corridor in Italy's house that she had collapsed in.

Italy frowned "We've always been here, and how do I know you're Germany?"

Germany chose to file the first part of the sentence away for further query while she dealt with the second half. "Do you not have a security question?" She asked, rubbing her temples, she was getting a head ache.

Italy's eyes lit up "Yes,yes I have a security question," He beamed "What's my favorite food?"

Germany was flabbergasted, she put her face into her palms and groaned "Italy, everyone and their mother knows what your favorite food is, you need a better question"

Italy grinned "yep, definitely Germany"

Germany

Germany was inwardly panicking, he wasn't the biggest fan of spiders and there was a great big hairy one on his face. It was gently pulled away and a laughing face appeared "Wow Germany, I've never heard you swear that loudly before" and then the smile left the girl's face.

Germany sat himself up and found that he seemed to be lying in the corridor of Italy's house. The girl looked a little like Italy. And then something hit his arm, it would have been painful for any normal person, but to Germany it was like a gnat flying into a rock. He reacted nonetheless.

"Ow!"

"What did you do to Germany, you monster, give her back or so help me I will give Romano free access to the potatoes and lock you in a room together!" shrieked the girl, running out of air towards the end of the sentence.

Germany scooted away from the girl until his back hit the wall. "What are you talking about, I am Germany!" he yelped as the girl peeled her shoe off and threw it at him.

"You aren't Germany, Germany's a girl, and she's prettier than you are!" exclaimed the girl, reaching for her other shoe with a frown on her face.

Germany dived out of the way as another shoe thudded into the wall. "Well the last time I checked I was a man!"

The girl was starting to advance on him, and then she tripped and fell flat on her face. Germany was by her side in seconds "For goodness sake, if this was a war-zone you'd have been shot, you need to be more careful" he scolded as he pulled out one of his many plasters which were in his pocket and stuck it to her knee.

"Oh my God, you a_re _Germany. What happened to you?" she cried.

Germany frowned "Who are you?"

The girl looked horrified "You forgot me? Germany how could you? You're my best friend!"

Italy, definitely Italy.

Nyo Germany

Italy had insisted that she sat down and had something to drink for the shock. So now Germany was sat on her own sofa, with her dogs piled on top of her...a little startled to find that her babies had changed gender, but they seemed to recognize her and had quickly commandeered her lap and the rest of the sofa. She scratched behind Aster's ears fondly.

Italy was chattering away to himself in her kitchen, she wasn't really listening. "Italy?" She called. The other nation appeared at the door with a daft smile on his face and his eyes closed.

"How are you, Bella?" he asked

Germany smiled "I'm not a 'Bella' I'm Germany. And I think we should call England"

Italy looked afraid "Oh no, no Germany. We can't do that. England's scary!"

"What are you talking about, Italy, you've beaten her up once!" Germany exclaimed, vividly remembering Italy punching the blonde girl during a meeting.

Italy shook his head "I've never beaten up England, he's very scary and he has scary friends. Besides, my phone's gone missing." Germany looked at him and groaned

"Don't you have an address book?"

"No" Italy replied as he returned to his work in the kitchen.

Germany caught sight of a phone on the table, it looked like her one, she attempted to sit forward to grab it but was prevented from moving forward by Blackie shifting on her lap.

Germany patted Blackie's ribs and rubbed her belly "You've got to move, really" She said in an exasperated yet fond voice. The German Shepherd glanced at her from upside down, and then Aster casually kicked her off of the startled nation's lap and attempted to clamber on instead. Germany quickly grabbed the phone while simultaneously telling the Golden Retriever off while checking on Blackie. Germany started flicking through the contacts...every single contact was listed as 'Tomato'

Germany

Germany sat on the sofa with a cold compress on the back of his head from when he smacked his head on Italy's bed, he could hear the other Italy on the phone, he wasn't sure who she was calling but it sounded urgent.

"Ve, what do you mean you're tied up at the moment?" She cried

Germany sat up a little straighter and looked at the small woman. "I don't care if you're in space, if you care about Germany you'll get in your car and get here now!"

There was a long pause and Germany wondered if the conversation was over and then Italy shrieked "So you can't drive home until you've gotten France home safely? Is she okay?" Germany patted the head of one of his female counterpart's dogs as he was passing, the dog thumped his tail against the sofa and rolled over. "I don't think you can count a broken arm as okay, I'll see you later"


	3. Chapter 3 Prussia

**Thanks for reading, and to the people who followed and favourited and for the review, you are actually excellent ^_^ I still don't own Hetalia. Also a massive thank you to bamfisawesome for being epic and helping so much with the nyoFrance and nyoPrussia parts because she is just too epic for words.**

Nyo Germany

Germany placed the phone back on the table, she was going to need to talk to Romano later...or not, it wasn't technically her phone. She could still hear Italy clattering around in the kitchen. She let out a low sigh, her nerves were shot and she was worrying very badly. She scratched behind Blackie's ears distractedly. That was when she heard it, quietly at first but it was getting steadily louder until the front door was thrown open with a loud crash. "So this year I'm off to sunny Spaaaaaaaaain, Y VIVA ESPAÑAAAAAA!" Sang (read shouted) A heavily accented voice "Wake up West, Spain, France and me are going to Madrid!"

Prussia? Of course she should have known that there would be a double of her sister. Thank God! Germany had dealt with enough shit today and now all she wanted was her annoying, loud big sister to tell her that everything was okay. Sure this person would be a male version of her sister but they were still Prussia and that was the important part.

"Oh, Hey Italy!" Prussia called, Germany heard a responding call from the kitchen. Germany began to usher the dogs off of her lap. The living room door was opened. "Hey, Italy, is this your girlfriend?"

Germany turned around "East?" The red eyed man froze, he looked like her sister. Red eyes white hair, silly grin. The silly grin was fading fast, Prussia had some how managed to go even paler than usual.

"West?"

Germany nodded, and was just about ready to get some kind of comfort from her brother/sister when Prussia started laughing, not just laughing, tears were running down his cheeks and he was having to hold onto the sofa for support. "Oh my God, West. You're a woman! Kesesesese what did you do to eyebrows? Where's the camera!" Prussia was roaring with laughter and red flushed in his cheeks. Germany had had enough. She'd had a spider on her face, her best friend had turned into a cowardly idiot and now her sister, no wait BROTHER was laughing at her! She felt tears pooling in her eyes and she sniffled a little. Prussia's grin froze and his eyes widened "Oh GOD! No, West, Stop crying. It's not awesome, stop crying. Please. I'll do anything, just stop, stop." Prussia babbled frantically patting at Germany's shoulders as she wept noisily. That made it worse because now she was reminded of her real big sister. Germany sniffed and tried to get a hold of herself, she hadn't cried in a long time, something about Prussia's reaction told her that her male counterpart didn't cry often either. "Ve, what did you do to her!" Italy yelled suddenly emerging from the kitchen with a tray of food and drinks.

Germany

There was a knock at the door, Germany opened it without thinking, it was his house in a round about way. What stumbled into the house was what could only be described as complete and utter chaos in three pairs of high heels. What struck him immediately was that one of them looked uncannily like his brother, there was another who was laughing happily with her hair tied back in a brown bun. Those two were carrying a woman with blonde hair who had slung an arm around each of their shoulders.

"Hello?" he said

"Whoa there, I think Italy got herself a boyfriend!" Exclaimed the white haired girl.

The brown haired one grimaced "Romano will go crazy, he looks pretty German to me"

The blonde went to say something but was interrupted when Italy bustled past Germany and pulled the trio into the house. The brown haired one let go of the blonde and hugged Italy tightly "You got a boyfriend, well done! But you can tell Roma yourself, huh" she beamed.

Italy hugged back and then wriggled out of her arms. "I don't have a boyfriend, Spain," She turned to the white haired one "And I thought you said you were going to take France to A&E you said she broke her arm"

The white haired girl laughed "That? Oh no, France actually broke her fingernail, but with the screaming we thought she was gonna die"

The blonde kicked at the white haired girl "I fell off a table! I think I had the right to scream!" she said indignantly.

Italy groaned "I was counting on you being alone, Prussia" Prussia? Well, that made sense.

Prussia wriggled her eyebrows "Oh, were you now? You know I'm with Canada," she smirked and elbowed her in the ribs "Come on, I'm joking, You _always _laugh at my jokes"

Italy frowned "I'm not really in a laughing mood," she said, holding her hands up to stop the distraught voices around her "Prussia, this man here is Germany, don't ask me how it happened, but it's true"

Prussia let go of France's arm and she fell face first onto the floor, France let out a flurry of swear words as she picked herself up off the floor and gave Prussia a reproachful look as she straightened her hair.

"Germany? West, seriously?" Prussia stammered, and then came the laughter. Germany didn't know what to do. He was upset, actually upset, he'd had a hard day and to be honest he was fed up.

Prussia pulled him into a hug "Look at you, short arse! If I was a man I'd be at least a foot taller than you, and three times as strong!" She announced proudly, ruffling Germany's hair.

"Brother, can you not?"

Prussia cackled manically "I think you mean sister, West. You're so weeeeeeeeeeedyyyyyyyyy!" Germany didn't know what to do, he wasn't used to being near this many women all at once.

Italy

Italy stood in the kitchen, he had no idea what sort of drink to get Germany. Women liked wine? Right? Yeah, he usually got women he liked wine and it usually worked just fine. But Germany was Germany and Germany liked beer...and did Germany have wine anyway? He didn't think so, he'd checked all the cupboards. Eventually Italy gave up and poured a bottle of beer into a wine glass because it may as well look pretty. He heard Prussia enter and welcomed him home. Then he heard a surprised sound but didn't really listen because he was rifling through the fridge for some kind of food, he settled on some ginger bread which he found in the cupboard. He arranged the things on the tray beautifully and carried them out to the living room. What he was greeted with was a tearful Germany and a frantic Prussia, he'd only been in the kitchen for five minutes, what the hell had happened. "Ve, What did you do to her?"


	4. Chapter 4 organising a meeting

**I still don't own Hetalia, thanks for reading and such. Also thanks to Bamfisawesome for having the worlds best Prussia head cannon, I'll never be able to write her as well as you can act as her, and her Nyo Spain and France head cannon.**

Germany

After Prussia had gotten past the whole 'My brother is so tiny, I would be waaaay taller if I was a man' thing, Italy started phoning people. Germany sat on the sofa with Prussia, France and Spain. He was struck by how different they were to their male versions, yes they looked the same and yes they had similar mannerisms but there were slight differences that he noticed. Spain and France gave each other snarky back handed compliments and then burst out laughing, and Spain seemed to have gained the ability to match clothes (Sometimes the combinations the Spain that Germany knew wore made him flinch and sent Romano into a searing rant) Apart from that, these women were for all intents and purposes his brother and his friends. But Italy, what the hell had happened there, Germany knew that his Italy had defeated Turkey at some point, but he'd never dealt with him behaving like this Italy.

"We have a world meeting next week" Italy announced, snapping her phone shut.

Prussia kicked her booted feet onto the coffee table "Why?" she asked casually.

Italy sat down in the arm chair "Because we need to find out what happened to Germany." She replied anxiously.

Prussia snorted "She turned into a dude" she chuckled, France and Prussia nodded in agreement.

Germany frowned "I don't think it's that simple, Where I'm from all of you are men as well" he replied, he looked at Prussia "Please take your feet off the table"

Prussia's feet slid slowly off the the girls looked aghast.

"I was a man?" Italy gasped, looking alarmed

"Yes" Germany replied

"Am I cute?"

Nyo Germany

"Don't worry Bro, I mean Sis" Prussia grinned. After Italy had given Prussia the telling off of a life time he had gotten really into trying to help Germany out. So far he'd given her some ice cream (topped with some of his not so secret supply of maple syrup) fed the dogs and was now going to try to organize a meeting. Prussia looked down at his phone, his eyes widened and he pulled a face. Germany knew that expression, that was the 'Prussia has been an idiot' face.

"Let me see the phone" Germany sighed.

Prussia hid it behind his back "No" he replied hastily. Italy looked between the siblings with confusion in his eyes. Germany ignored Prussia's obvious reluctance and snatched the phone from him.

She scrolled through the contacts list

#1

#2

#3

#4

"Prussia?"

"What?" Prussia retorted, although he knew what she was going to say.

"Why are all your contacts numbers?"

Prussia folded his arms "They're all the people I know in order of how awesome they are" He replied cockily.

Germany groaned loudly "Prussia, is the first number yours?"

Prussia looked offended "No," he replied indignantly, standing up and walking around the coffee table so he could face his sister "It's actually not, I am not the number one awesome person on my phone, see that, not a narcissist." he grinned proudly strutting around the living room.

Curiosity got the better of Germany, she pressed the call button for the first name on Prussia's phone, across the room her own phone rang. A small smile appeared on her face "That's very sweet of you" She smiled softly looking down at the phone in her hands and wondering if a similar thing was happening in her own world.

"Don't get excited, you're only number 1 because I didn't put my own phone number in" Prussia exclaimed defensively as he snatched his phone from her.

"Ve, why don't we text all the numbers?" Italy asked, it was oddly reassuring to know that Italy still made that sound.

"I have some human numbers on there" Prussia mumbled guiltily.

Germany tried to remember the policy on human phone numbers, she remembered that human numbers were permitted but it was generally frowned upon just in case they let something slip about being a nation.

Prussia's eyes lit up, "I know the first six numbers, and I know who'll have everyone else's numbers!" he grinned.

Number 2 on Prussia's contact list turned out to be Canada, Prussia had a lengthy chat with him before it was agreed that Canada would get America to organise the meeting because no one ignored America and Canada had a local hockey match to play in that afternoon. Germany wondered if this Prussia was in a relationship with this Canada, it would be nice to know that some things never changed.

Germany

There were many things that Germany had never thought he'd have to do, one of them was assuring a group of girls that they would be physically attractive if they were men.

"But I'm the most awesome, right?" Prussia asked, the look in her eyes was clearly saying 'West, if you say anything other than yes you will be in for a world of chaos'

"Yes" Germany sighed in exasperation.

France flipped her hair dramatically "But I'm probably the manliest" she grinned.

"About as manly as Poland," Spain laughed

France looked at her "For all you know male Poland could be the manliest of men" she retorted

the women turned to Germany "Is he?" they chorused

Germany was something of a crap liar but he dind't really want to upset France further but he was saved by Italy "Leave him alone, the poor guy's had a hard day"

Germany nodded, he was indeed tired but looking at the clock he could see that it was no where near his bed time and if he slept now he risked wrecking his sleep routine and the next thing he knew he'd be waking up so late it would be gone eight in the morning.


	5. Chapter 5 Dogs and training

**I still don't own Hetalia. Thanks for reading and reviewing and stuff ^_^ Sorry this took so long, I had writers block. Also sorry this is a little shorter than normal. **

Germany

Germany had been in this strange place for about three days now. He was beginning to notice more differences between his world and this one, besides gender. For a start, Italy could be _very _scary at times. Although that could work to his advantage. Japan was immensely girly. He'd met her on the second day, She was every bit as polite as his Japan could be. He hadn't expected Italy and Japan to be so small as women, he'd asked them if his female counterpart was as well, Italy had burst out laughing.

The thing he noticed the most was how badly behaved his dogs were. They tore around the house at high speed, they ate his trousers (He'd ended up having to borrow some clothes from Ukraine, who looked very similar to the Russia he knew) they chased cats, they ate his breakfast and they rolled in what he could only hope was chocolate.

"Leave it" Germany growled sternly. He held an end of one of Prussia's socks, Aster had the other clamped between her teeth. He couldn't recall a time in his whole life when he saw a Golden Retriever look that stubborn. Her brown eyes were almost challenging him to defeat her at this new 'game' she had invented.

"I said, leave it!"Germany repeated. The dog gave a harsh tug on the sock.

Germany threw his weight back so Aster wouldn't win this tug-of-war. The sock tore and the dog sprinted beneath the table, sending things flying off of the coffee table with her tail as she went.

Germany scrambled to his feet only to hear a loud distress call from the basement.

"Berlitz, Berlitz no! Leave her alone!" Prussia screamed

Germany stood still, did he retrieve what was left of Prussia's sock? Or go and save his big sister from another one of his dogs.

He decided to save Prussia. He charged down the stairs and into Prussia's 'lair'. Prussia stood on top of her bed with a bird cage held aloft above her head. Berlitz circled the bed, seemingly having remembered his training not to go on the beds. "Berlitz!" Germany yelled. The dog's ear swiveled but the dog didn't turn.

"He's not listening" Germany called frantically at his sister.

Prussia narrowed her eyes "Of course not, His owner's voice is higher than yours!" she exclaimed, her own voice at shrieking point from the stress of the situation.

He supposed that made sense, if they were used to a higher voice being the one they had to obey then perhaps if he tried to imitate that voice...If he looked stupid then there was only Prussia to see.

"Berlitz, sit" Germany chirruped. The effect was instant, the dog did not sit, he lay straight down on the floor. The only down side, besides Prussia's cackle and proclamation that the event was going straight on her blog, was that Germany's voice hurt.

* * *

Nyo Germany

Germany wasn't entirely sure what she should be doing with herself while she was waiting for the meeting. She'd eventually decided to train, she felt much better when she was running. She'd considered asking Italy if he wanted to come too, but she didn't know whether he was used to training at that time in the morning, He was different from her Italy and what's to say he wouldn't get angry with her if she woke him up? Nothing that's what, although he had been very nice to her. She did, however, wake her brother up.

"Prussia, Prussia, Julchen, Prussia!" She whispered, shaking his shoulder roughly. She hadn't meant to call Prussia by her sister's human name, but desperate times called for desperate measures. "Prussia!"

"I'm sleeping" The Prussian groaned, snuggling down into his duvet.

Germany folded her arms "I've trained with my sister every morning for most of my life, come on" she commanded in annoyance.

Prussia rolled over to face her. "Okay, okay. I just wanted a day off"

They were out and running within half an hour. Germany was pleasantly surprised to find that the scenery around her house was the same as always. Prussia didn't seem to be any where near as tired as he had made out he was. "Do you train with the Germany who belongs here?" she asked.

Prussia looked over to her "Yeah," he muttered "It started when we were kids"

Germany smiled fondly, remembering her own sister barking orders at her when they were barely old enough to hold a sword. Their mother had watched in amusement, or Germany thought it was amusement, Germania had rarely moved her face.

They completed the circuit and sat down for a drink of water.

* * *

Germany

Within an hour Germany had regained control over his unruly dogs. He didn't like using the high pitched voice, but if it got results it got results. Prussia still clutched the bird cage as she walked around the house. Germany assumed it contained Gilbird. "West, oi!" Prussia called, waving a hand in front of his eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Come on, out of daydream land" Prussia exclaimed, jabbing his jaw with her finger.

"Sorry, I was thinking about Gilbird" Germany responded

"Gilbird?" Prussia asked, putting the cage down on the table and opened the door, after deciding that the dogs weren't going to eat her beloved pet.

Germany nodded "That's your bird's name, isn't it?"

Prussia shook her head "This is Julchen"

Germany frowned "No clever twist on your own name? My brother is called Gilbert and-"

Prussia held her hand up for silence "There's only so clever you can be with a name like Julchen, so I named her after me"

"Oh"


End file.
